Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Celebrity Match Game


Thanks to the media expertise of Michele Beadle and the menacing Colin Cowherd, I found out today that my least favorite NBA player, the immortal Sasha Vujacic, is dating Maria Sharapova.

You have got to be kidding me.

This "Euro Superstar" has somehow snagged the best looking woman in tennis. I am beyond disbelief. Who set these two up? Wow.

Fuck It

You know? It's been a solid three weeks since I've posted last. I'll figure out this whole "consistency" thing soon enough. In the mean time...

Syracuse lost to Le Moyne College tonight in an exhibition. One question I can safely ask after hearing this is: "Who the fuck is Le Moyne College?". I mean seriously what the hell happened? This is a Division I, Big East basketball team taking on a Division II team from the Northeast-10 conference (yes, the same conference boasting New Hampshire D II juggernauts SNHU, Franklin Pierce, and St. Anselm's).

It's safe to assume no one saw this coming prior to tip off. I mean, it's November 3rd, the leaves are falling from the trees, most collegiate teams don't tip off their regular seasons for another week, and we have tiny Le Moyne coming in and messin' up Andy Rautins' fine hairdo in the Carrier Dome.

Let's take a quick glance at the numbers of the two institutions that call Syracuse,NY their home:

SYRACUSE
-13,651 undergrads
-Division/Conference: NCAA Division I, Big East Conference
-Nickname: Orange
-Mascot: Otto the Orange
-Notable Athletic Alumni: Carmelo Anthony, Jim Brown, Jonny Flynn, Donovan McNabb, Gerry McNamara, Marvin Harrison, several others

LE MOYNE
-2,761 undergrads
-Division/Conference: NCAA Division II, Northeast-10 Conference
-Nickname: Dolphins
-Mascot: Presumably some kind of Dolphin
-Notable Athletic Alumni: Tim Browning, former Cincinnati Red and Kansas City Royal who won 123 Major League Baseball games. Several other fringe major leaguers.

Le Moyne is a respectable Division II program, but they aren't going out and winning Division II national championships. Last season, they finished 20-11 (13-9 NE10), good for sixth in the conference. Syracuse was a number three seed in the NCAA tournament and advanced to the Sweet Sixteen before getting ousted by Blake Griffin and Co.

All that can be taken from this is: Good for Le Moyne! Northeast-10 beware...these Dolphins could stew up trouble this season.

*Side Note* I'm gonna start to give this blog a few gimmicks, a weekly post much like I tried to do with "Mustache Monday" but gave up after a few weeks and a lack of good mustaches. We'll give it a shot here.

Lang

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

30 for 30: The Band That Wouldn't Die


I watched this documentary and thought, "Wow, I don't ever want to know what it'd be like to lose a pro sports franchise in my area (Boston, most likely won't happen). This band was relentless in their pursuit of a new NFL franchise for twelve years. In 1996, then Cleveland Browns owner Art Modell announced that he was moving the team to Baltimore, where they would become the Ravens. This was bittersweet for the men and women of Baltimore, where they loved that they would be getting a new franchise, but felt sorrow for it being at the expense of another city. Now, as we all know Cleveland got the Browns back in 1999 with the immortal Tim Couch coming in to be their starting quarterback.

I'll follow up this post with something of a similar regard.

Lang

Hub Season Wrap

After an up-and-down season where only the craziest of fanatics would've believed the Sox could win even the pennant, the dream ended on Sunday in the glove of Erick Aybar in shallow centerfield. Truly, it was a damn shame to see the Sox go down so easily, with so little fight in them. Usually a team hampered by injuries, inconsistency, and Manny Delcarmen will go out there and at least win ONE fucking game against the Angels. One game is all I ask for out of this "mirror-image of 2005" team.

After watching Jonathan Papelbon get by on two pitches all season, you had to know this was coming in the ninth inning. I felt the bad omen vibes as soon as Tito Francona sent in the immortal Joey Gathright to pinch run for Ortiz in the seventh inning. I mean, come on now. When the biggest clutch hitter in the history of the Red Sox gets lifted that early in a game for a pinch runner, you have to know what's coming next.

I understand the logic behind deciding to get Hunter out of the way to get to Vlad. Hunter is career (regular and postseason) 3-5 with a homer against Jonny Paps, while the Impaler was a measly 1-10 with only a single in 2006 against him. It was a smart move by the manager in the sense that they made the move, but to give Vlad anything in the strike zone was absolutely ludicrous.

And then there's Dustin Pedroia. The man himself blames the loss on the shitty field conditions of Fenway Park, claiming the reason they lost was due to the poor infield and lack of attention to detail by the grounds crew. Yeah, well...that only works if you lose more than one game at home in the postseason, and in those games make multiple, costly errors. Look, Dusty, I am still a huge fan of yours, but lets get real here...if anyone wanted Edgar Renteria playing second base for the Sox, he would still be around. Don't blame it on the field, it's not worth it.

And finally, as for Papelbon, right now there is something strangely comforting about him saying he would like to play for the Yankees if the Sox don't shell him the benjamins in two years. Look, I'd rather have Daniel Bard closing games right now. At least he has more than one effective pitch and a fastball that touches 99 regularly and 100 often with movement, instead of that flat 94-96 mile per hour ditch-digger that Pap throws.

We'll see what happens this off season.

Lang

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Looch Extended


Well, keeping up with the hockey theme here on the Towel, GM Peter Chiarelli re-upped Milan Lucic's contract yesterday, extending the artist through the '12-'13 season.

This is a fantastic move. Everyone in blue-collar Boston loves a fighter. That was what the city was built upon. What do you think this is? New York? I think not.

This leads me to a topic I've wanted to cover for the past 45 minutes when I found out that the Ass Kicker himself is back. My top five favorite fights I've seen from the Boston Bruins over the years.

5. Washington Capitals vs. Boston Bruins
Great fight. I know, I posted it with the other post yesterday, but anytime you have a six-on-six battle featuring greats like Dale Hunter, Ken Belanger, Grant Ledyard, Craig Berube, Nolan Baumgautner, and Mark Tinordi, you have to reference it. Not only those masters of the fist-art, but when you have Byron Dafoe and Olaf Kolzig come to blows when they were both the best man at each other's wedding. Not only was this the fight to see, but it was close to coming to blows between Bruins head coach Pat Burns and Capitals head coach Ron Wilson, a bout that the dimunitive Wilson would definitely have dropped to the hefty, angry Burns.

4. Milan Lucic vs. Jay Harrison/Milan Lucic vs. Chris Neil (Tie)
Looch split both of them wide open. Blood everywhere. Incredible.

3. Goalie Fights
Granted, this isn't a Bruins fight but come on now...who doesn't love a good goalie fight?

2. Milan Lucic vs. Mike Komisarek
"KOMISAREK DOWN! AND LUCIC TAUNTS THE MONTREAL BENCH! TONIGHT, THEY HAVE BEATEN THEM, AND THEY HAVE BEATEN THEM UP!"

1. P.J. Stock vs. Stephen Peat
Greatest hockey fight ever.

That's it for today, hope you enjoy.

Lang

30 for 30: King's Ransom

And for my first real post in a month, I give you (drumroll, please)...MY THOUGHTS ON A DOCUMENTARY!

First and foremost, I am a hockey fan. There was that time, much like any other NHL fan, that I severed my ties with the sport in such a way that makes Floyd Mayweather Jr. miss his father. I completely tuned out for almost a solid two years (missing most of the tail end of the Mike Sullivan Era and practically all of the Dave Lewis Era). From time to time, I would catch a game, but didn't feel the same passion I felt for "College 'Ockey" or what I had as a kid.

At the tender ages of my youth (around 8-12 years old), my dad would get hockey tickets from one of his friends and we would travel down to Boston to the Fleetcenter to catch the gold and black from pretty good seats behind the bench. I saw the Red Wings, the Islanders, the Predators, and a lot of clashes with the Capitals. Hell, I even got on television in the playoffs when I sat next to a cameraman three rows from the glass on the end of the ice.

I was there for the Craig Berube/Don Sweeney, which eventually led to a five-on-five bout, which then turned into "Lord Byron" Dafoe vs. Olie Kolzig. You show me a man who can watch that video and not feel a sense of pride as a Bruins fan, and I'll show you a man who's full of shit. The best part would've been if Pat Burns and Ron Wilson went at it. Now that, my friends, would've brought the house down.

If there is one hockey memory from my formative years I won't forget, it involves one man, amply nicknamed "The Great One".

When I was ten years old, my dad got tickets to the last time Gretzky would ever play against the Boston Bruins (he had announced he was retiring at the end of the 1999 season earlier in the year). We went down to Boston in my dad's rickety Ford pickup, entered the vast arena, grabbed some food, and sat in our usual seats to wait for number 99 to emerge from the tunnel. My dad wanted me to see him play live, if only just once, before he retired. He didn't care if he wasn't 1980's vintage-Gretzky anymore, the important part was for me to see him play live to say I saw him skate on the ice in a National Hockey League game.

As we waited for the start of the game, they announced the healthy scratches for the game. As I listened to the list, "First, for the Rangers..." and so on, I heard one unusual thing. "Wayne Gretzky" came over the intercom. I was shocked and dumbfounded at the principle that Wayne Gretzky...The Great One...the man who won nine Hart Trophys, would be shortsighted enough to deny me the opportunity to see him play (just kidding, the man has no idea I exist).

Without him, the Rangers took down the Bruins 3-1, in the last time Gretzky would visit the Fleetcenter as a player. It was disheartening that I never got to see him play in his greatness. No one will ever be better, in the history of sport, at a particular sport (Jordan included. And yes, I am a bigger basketball fan than I am a hockey fan).

Tonight, I watched ESPN's 30 for 30 documentary series open with a film by Peter Berg, mediocre actor turned phenomenal director and producer. As I watched "King's Ransom", I feel like I was there in '88 when the world was hit by the massive meteor that was "Edmonton trades Gretzky to Los Angeles" (I hadn't even been born yet). I felt terrible for the city of Edmonton, and for Peter Pocklington, and for Gretzky for leaving. I have never watched something more intently. Something less-distracted than I have in my entire life (probably, but humor me for the sake of the tone of the piece).

I thought Peter Berg did a great job with the documentary. It taught me a great deal about something I hadn't learned much about ever, and I thought that the style of the film was ideal for that type of documentary.

My Grade: A+

Good to be back Towel Heads!

Lang

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Lets Play a Game

Is this a football coach or not?

Lang